Yesterday, we completed first week of fasting. I was having a very good ramadhan until something bad happened yesterday. This year, I was asked to attend Program Berbuka Puasa. at selected masjid. Initially, we have to attend on our own plus cameraman, then only yesterday I found out that other executive from my division will be attending the program as well.
Since one of the program falls during weekend, I went to see the other executive to ask for his help to cover this weekend's program. In fact, I went to see my big boss and ask her if it's ok for me to be excused this weekend. She said go ahead. So I went to his office and politely asked him to cover me. I came with good intention. Fyi, I did call earlier I told him that I wanted to see him, he said he is busy and will get back to me later, to which he didn't. I could have just text him, which what normaly other colleagues do but no, I should go and see him personally, I thought it's better like this. Boy, I was wrong.
I remembered I asked nicely for his help, then I said something like "If you want to cover all districts I lagi suka". I was merely saying, sekali he said to me "Why are you being sarcastic? You came to my office for my help, you know? You could have asked nicely". I blank sekejap, sarcastic? I think that's a bit too harsh. Kenapa pula dia mo terasa, sedangkan kami rakan sekerja, sejak bila pula ngak boleh bergurau?
So I said to him, since you will be attending and I spoke to our big boss she said one executive is enough that is why I am here..asking you if you can cover for me. Terus he said, look at you, look at how you asked for help. Then he ulang lagi, you can be very sarcastic you know? You could have asked nicely. Masa tu my blood go upstairs sudah. I said, beginilah I teda maksud yang bukan-bukan you pigi semua program, in fact I lagi suka. After all masjid2, memang area lelaki, kami perempuan bukan ada role sangat, sekadar penyeri sahaja. So I said to him, now we go back to our story, can you help me or not. Dia dwell lagi benda-benda lain. Siap masukkan how often do I come to his office as compared to him? Dalam hati I what's that go to do with this? Heran juga, bulan puasa man can be very sensitive; ngak bertempat lagi. Aiseymen.
So I said to him, why are you so sensitive? Then he said, you think you time is more valuable than me is it? I may have recording at 6:29 pm. I never said my time is more precious than you but since you will be attending, then might as well you cover. That's all. Dalam hati, kalau ada recording, then why did you put your name on the list? Hello? For decoration is it?
One thing lead to another. We were exchanging *5!@...**!!!^# that when I think back was whatlah!Benda simple pun mau kasih complicated. In the end, I said to him, lets go back to what I've come for. I'm sorry (See, I said I'm sorry, sedangkan I don't think so I did anything wrong) if you terasa that I was sarcastic, sedangkan teda pun berniat begitu. Now, can you cover me? Terus he said, ok he will cover. Then I said to him, I don't want to fight I don't want to have any friction with you. You won, I said.
Excerpt of our *5!@...**!!!^#
He: Who said, this is about winning?
Me: Well, I said I'm sorry. You won. I can never win with you. You are always right.
He: This is not a match you know.
Me: It is not a match, I know because in this match it's just you.
He: Then you don't understand me, Farrah
Me: Yes, I don't understand you, ..... and you never want to understand the people around you.
I said thank you, I cakap lagi, are we cool? He said ya. Tapi I know dalam hati, hmm...dua-dua pun panas ni. In the end I did get what I wanted, but the process of getting help is gruesome. Had I known it would turn this way, I wouldn't have asked him , but it's a done deal.
Actually, he could just told me he couldn't help me, I understand. Or he could have told me that, dia letak2 jak namanya in the list but he is not planning to attend the program? Just be frank, isn't that too much to ask? Instead, he dwelled and twist and masukkan elemen yang tidak pun berkenaan. Had it been him coming to me (which btw, bukan membangkit, I lost count sudah, I never said no) and asked for my help, I would have said yes and try my best to do it...I would never dwell, or make it seem that I'm God just because my colleague asks for my help. After all, this is teamwork right? We are suppose to cover each other.
There you have it...luahan hatiku...
Besar betul dugaan berpuasa ni, kelmarin I can't tahan already. I snapped. I think my pahala kelmarin pun teda sudah. Well, let's hope today will be a better day. I wonder my mum masak apa yerrr? Yum yum...
Selamat Berpuasa you'll
Since one of the program falls during weekend, I went to see the other executive to ask for his help to cover this weekend's program. In fact, I went to see my big boss and ask her if it's ok for me to be excused this weekend. She said go ahead. So I went to his office and politely asked him to cover me. I came with good intention. Fyi, I did call earlier I told him that I wanted to see him, he said he is busy and will get back to me later, to which he didn't. I could have just text him, which what normaly other colleagues do but no, I should go and see him personally, I thought it's better like this. Boy, I was wrong.
I remembered I asked nicely for his help, then I said something like "If you want to cover all districts I lagi suka". I was merely saying, sekali he said to me "Why are you being sarcastic? You came to my office for my help, you know? You could have asked nicely". I blank sekejap, sarcastic? I think that's a bit too harsh. Kenapa pula dia mo terasa, sedangkan kami rakan sekerja, sejak bila pula ngak boleh bergurau?
So I said to him, since you will be attending and I spoke to our big boss she said one executive is enough that is why I am here..asking you if you can cover for me. Terus he said, look at you, look at how you asked for help. Then he ulang lagi, you can be very sarcastic you know? You could have asked nicely. Masa tu my blood go upstairs sudah. I said, beginilah I teda maksud yang bukan-bukan you pigi semua program, in fact I lagi suka. After all masjid2, memang area lelaki, kami perempuan bukan ada role sangat, sekadar penyeri sahaja. So I said to him, now we go back to our story, can you help me or not. Dia dwell lagi benda-benda lain. Siap masukkan how often do I come to his office as compared to him? Dalam hati I what's that go to do with this? Heran juga, bulan puasa man can be very sensitive; ngak bertempat lagi. Aiseymen.
So I said to him, why are you so sensitive? Then he said, you think you time is more valuable than me is it? I may have recording at 6:29 pm. I never said my time is more precious than you but since you will be attending, then might as well you cover. That's all. Dalam hati, kalau ada recording, then why did you put your name on the list? Hello? For decoration is it?
One thing lead to another. We were exchanging *5!@...**!!!^# that when I think back was whatlah!Benda simple pun mau kasih complicated. In the end, I said to him, lets go back to what I've come for. I'm sorry (See, I said I'm sorry, sedangkan I don't think so I did anything wrong) if you terasa that I was sarcastic, sedangkan teda pun berniat begitu. Now, can you cover me? Terus he said, ok he will cover. Then I said to him, I don't want to fight I don't want to have any friction with you. You won, I said.
Excerpt of our *5!@...**!!!^#
He: Who said, this is about winning?
Me: Well, I said I'm sorry. You won. I can never win with you. You are always right.
He: This is not a match you know.
Me: It is not a match, I know because in this match it's just you.
He: Then you don't understand me, Farrah
Me: Yes, I don't understand you, ..... and you never want to understand the people around you.
I said thank you, I cakap lagi, are we cool? He said ya. Tapi I know dalam hati, hmm...dua-dua pun panas ni. In the end I did get what I wanted, but the process of getting help is gruesome. Had I known it would turn this way, I wouldn't have asked him , but it's a done deal.
Actually, he could just told me he couldn't help me, I understand. Or he could have told me that, dia letak2 jak namanya in the list but he is not planning to attend the program? Just be frank, isn't that too much to ask? Instead, he dwelled and twist and masukkan elemen yang tidak pun berkenaan. Had it been him coming to me (which btw, bukan membangkit, I lost count sudah, I never said no) and asked for my help, I would have said yes and try my best to do it...I would never dwell, or make it seem that I'm God just because my colleague asks for my help. After all, this is teamwork right? We are suppose to cover each other.
There you have it...luahan hatiku...
Besar betul dugaan berpuasa ni, kelmarin I can't tahan already. I snapped. I think my pahala kelmarin pun teda sudah. Well, let's hope today will be a better day. I wonder my mum masak apa yerrr? Yum yum...
Selamat Berpuasa you'll
thats my old farrah :)
ReplyDeleteu know what babe, from the way u illustrated it, I cud tell that this always-right-self-proclaimed man had always being unsatisfied with u somewhere, correct me if i'm wrong but its not only about that day when u asked for him to cover u, but he had unprofessionally used that moment to let his hidden emotions off.
U shd get the message babe!
U're right, dugaan berpuasa ni... mmmm...
to balance thing out, i think on the other side of story, maybe WE (u and I) need to somehow learn to be more lenient/soft/extra humble and not to be too straight forward with our words...since i have to admit, i'm the person who says what i want, in a very clear crystal way.. ahakss! seems that we gotta learn some communication art la beb!
whatever it is... just be urself and be happy with it ...... alteration can always come second ;)
love & hugs!
You know me too well :)
ReplyDeleteBabe! thank you for your comment...I really appreciate it.
You're right, there's more than what meets the eyes. I think we need one-on-one session to story the whole things...hahaaa!
The thing is, I don't know why is he acting this way, only he knows. You know what's the most upsetting part was? I thought he was my buddy. Sigh.
Babe, being straight forward is me, I don't like to beat around the bush. If he has problem with it, then it is his problem, not mine.
I may not have a lot of friends, but I am glad I have friends who I can count on :-)
Love u babe!