I felt so alone

Absence makes the heart grow fonder...

After quite sometimes working, to be exact, the last time I took leave was in March! I finally managed to take three (3) days off. Those three days were fantastic! I had a great time recuperating (well, at least in my context) at home doing nothing and catching up with friends that I've abandoned for quite sometimes. Sorry mate, I've been extremely busy.

So today, I am back in the office with lots of recharged energy and full of positive anticipations. Instead, I felt strange today, for the first time I felt so alone despite the office is full with people. I can hear them sharing light moments and gossiping here and there after all it's Friday already. Nobody has the mood to work...everybody was already looking forward to weekend. And yet I felt so alone. My mind keeps wondering how do you know who's your friend? Can you say your officemate is your friend? Or they just have to get along with you because you work together?

At least for me, since we are colleagues, we have to put our differences aside and get things done, right? We are professionals at work. Even if you don't like this particular person, you still have to work together right? At the end of the day, even if you work together doesn't mean you have to friends but at least being civil to each other won't hurt.

Some people define colleagues as their friends. But to me, to be a friend it takes more than that. A true friend is someone you trust. A true friend hear you out. A true friend will be there for you. A true friend stands together with you, although they know sometimes you are not right . True friends protect each other. The list goes on, my question is, can you find a friend in your office? I FIND IT DIFFICULT. Maybe because it's hard for me to open up and trust people, that's just me.

Sometime I feel that the office are full of hypocrites. They say nice things in front of you but it's different story altogether when you are not around. Given choice, I would rather deal outright hostility rather than deal with sugar coated lies. Call me harsh, but you just know when you spotted a faker! It's all written on their face and body language never lies!

Then again, why should I make my mind miserable over things that are beyond my control? They are the one with problems, not me. I keep on telling myself that I must be true to myself because I am who I am. Then again, it's those things in life that you have no control over to begin with, that tends to annoy, tends to irritate the hell out of you! Still, I have to deal with them. I just hope over time things change for the better. Hmmm....nope, some people are just born bad genes. Opps! There I go again...